TW: Involves Questioning Sexuality

    Don't clown on me, but when I was growing up, I always thought sexuality was just who you were with. I thought that the sexualities were: gay, straight, fun, and single. In this same vain I thought that everyone was dating people, not genders. That women who dated men liked Todd for Todd, not for other reasons (or reason). That men who dated men liked Todd for Todd, not for other reason/s. And that women who dated women were objectively correct. As a little girl growing up with only female stuffed animals (with the exception of an inherited "Bob" from my mother), and who changed the gender of Italian words for feminism (migliore > miglioressa from best to besta), I loved women.

    Now, my friends, and nosey people, or serious instagram story-likers, will know that I am dating a man. I am dating a man, and I have dated exclusively guys since eighth grade. So what the hell happened to loving women? Well, a more accurate question that I'm curious about is: what am I? I've been practicing heterosexuality for years now, but does that mean I'm not bisexual? Well, according to mini-me, I've been mostly single and then straight. I feel a simultaneous guilt for not being directly punished for the systemic and social oppressions of the lgbtq+, and a complete lack of caring-- I mean, my whole world view until downloading tiktok was that people date people not physiology. But am I what I perceive myself to be or am I what others choose for me? What do I perceive myself to be?

I am the letter B, technically I'm Q or P, but I prefer the Bi flag. But is attraction enough to justify sexuality? Is love enough to justify identity? How can I claim a facet of myself that I have not engaged with enough? I don't really have answers for you, just a broken label maker on the floor of my messy closet, and I'm ironically still confused about identity-- I've got nothing to print. 

I'm going to arbitrarily end this here, I'm out of answers.